Ministry Burdens

Hey Everyone!

There is so much on my heart tonight, and I have no idea if I will be able to totally convey to you all what is on my heart accurately.

I really feel like the Lord has stopped me in my tracks and opened my eyes to changes that need to be made / opportunities that are not being acted upon and that there is a part for me to play in helping those changes happen. There are so many outreach and ministry opportunities that aren’t fully acted upon in a sustainable manner.

The where, what, why and how is up to God.


God is the Epitome of Love

Hey Everyone!

What a crazy and tough year and a half it has been for me spiritually.

It has been an uphill struggle since I lost my job 16 months ago. I have spent the last year feeling like I have been at rock bottom. I even doubted God and my faith in him. I had left the church I was raised in for the better part of a year. I had things I needed to sort out for myself and needed time to branch out and see other churches and have time with just me and God.

There have been baby steps occurring over the past few months and glimpses of God’s goodness and patience with me.

Things are not perfect nor will they ever be, though I am slowly starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have really started becoming content with who God created me to be and with what I believe. I have come to terms with my past and how it has gotten me to where I am and who I am today.

I have also had a good friend to talk to at times who seems to get me better than anyone else. Then again she is the second daughter of five in her family, and we seem like similar personalities, to a point.

Being Willing to Do as God Asks.

Hey Everyone!

I kind of want to follow up on my last post, as it was a bit vague.

I have had a lot on my mind and my heart lately, as to what the Lord is calling of me and requiring of me.

Over the course of the last few years, I have kept coming back to living a simpler life, where I don’t have more than I need, and being able to share the abundance and excess with those who are in need and who are struggling to make ends meet. Growing up I always had what I needed and got some of what I wanted. As I have gotten older my needs and wants have changed.

This past year, I have really begun to understand what I things I really need, and that I don’t need the latest and greatest tech device when my older one still works and isn’t broken.

I have also seen others take what they have been blessed with for granted, and they have a sense of entitlement, and waste money and things (like food that is still good, but they don’t want to eat), like it’s going out of style. It saddens me and infuriates me that people are so selfish and self-centered when people right here in our own communities are going hungry. There are families where the parent(s) work multiple jobs and are unable to make ends meet, and the children go hungry.

I have this burden to do more to help those who are truly in need. I am still waiting on the Lord to clarify exactly where and how he intends for me to fill that gap, and when that door opens, I am willing to fill that gap.

I don’t feel like what I am called to do is very much, and I also wonder why me, and whether I can do it. I know these doubts are human, and that God is bigger than all of this. We all have a part to play. All God asks is for a willing heart and he will make a way for his will to be done.

We are not Mistakes

Hey Everyone!

This past year has been a tough year for me, especially spiritually. I am by no means through the trial, though I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The Lord has really helped me and put his finger on things he is calling me to do and asking me to consecrate to him.

He has been helping me to see the woman he wants me to be and be willing to put in the work to accomplish his will.

He has also been helping me to understand that he didn’t make a mistake when he made me who I am, and that my purpose isn’t to please others or follow their will. My purpose is to be the woman he made me to be and follow him, no matter what anyone else thinks I should be doing.

He does give us talents and strengths to use for his glory, he also at times calls us to use our weaknesses so that he can show his strength through our weakness. There will be times he asks us to give up what we want in order to do what he asks of us. That part is hard.

We as human beings and as Christians grow and change, and when we allow God to work in our lives he does do amazing things.

Stay at Home Daughters; Setting up Young Women to Fail at Real Life

Hey Everyone!

The concept of the whole “Stay At Home Daughter” movement has been something that has been on my heart a lot since I first found about it. It has been on my heart, not in the way of “this is what God has called me to do”, rather, to shed some light on the harmful and negative ramifications of this lifestyle.

Being a wife and a mother, as well as a Christian are scripturally good things, being a stay at home daughter, is not. Choosing to be a stay at home daughter when you are not called to it, or being forced to be one (or forcing your daughters to be SAHD) is the same as saying that your will is more important than God’s will and plan for your / your daughters life. Especially nowadays, a young woman needs to have some job and real world skills to fall back on, even if she is called to be a wife and mother.

Here are some real world examples of why being a stay at home daughter is setting yourself / your daughter up for failure:

  1. She is not called to get married
  2. She is called to get married, but not until she is a bit older (I know plenty of young women who are following God’s will for their lives, who are still single well into their 30’s).
  3. She is called to bring in a second income to help make ends meet, and provide the necessities for the family.
  4. Because we live in a fallen world, sickness happens, where the husband is taken ill, and eventually passes away, during the time time of illness the wife has to work to support herself and her children, and even while the husband is still alive, in many ways is a single parent. After her husband passes away, she must continue to work, and IS a single parent, and has to finish raising her children on her own.
  5. Young woman marries guy, guy turns out to not be a man who provides for his family, he takes off leaving her to fend for herself and to take care of their children on her own.

I have seen all of these situations unfold within my own life and in the lives of those around me. I personally still fall into #2.

God has given us each a unique set of talents, skills, interests, and hobbies he has also given each of us a unique calling. Some young women are called to be homemakers, others are not. Some women are given the talent, and desire to learn to cook, bake, crafts, and other “feminine” things, others are called to more of the scientific and mathematic fields. There are others who love to do all the homemaking and crafting things, but also enjoy things like Gardening, raising animals, homesteading, hiking, fishing, chopping wood, and some more “masculine” things by today’s definition of masculine. Though some of these things, if you look at history, women did as well, and it didn’t make them any less of a Christian woman.

I have also heard the argument for the stay at home daughter movement being, along the lines of protecting the girls for the ways of the world. The best thing you can do for yourself, and your daughters (and all your children) if you are a parent, is teach them about what goes on in the world, and how to guard themselves. The bible even talks about being in the world, but not of the world.

I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;

– John 17: 14 – 20 (KJV)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with girls learning how to keep a home, these are good qualities to have, and boys should learn some of these skills as well (like how to clean up after themselves, as their mothers, sisters, wives and daughters are NOT their maids).

My main point, is don’t force God into a box of how you think your life should be, and that being a stay at home wife and mother is the only godly call you (or your daughter) is allowed to have to be a good Christian woman. I would advise you to pray about it, and find what things you are good at, because those strengths are gifts from God. While the strengths, talents and skills aren’t the only things he will call of you to use for him, he may very well call you do something in an area you have a weakness so he can show his strength in your weakness, but don’t forget he also gave you the things you are good at.

We as young women are born to be more than just wives and mothers, life happens, and we have to be able to rely on God to provide for our needs. Our lives depend on God, not solely on what men can provide for us. When we learn how to be complete individuals in and of ourselves with God as our center, we can then learn how to be a wife, and support our husbands. God did design marriage to have the husband as the head, but that by no means lessens the Woman’s role. At this point I will refer you to Ephesians 5: 21 – 31, as to what a christian marriage should look like.

With that being said, and going back to what I was talking about earlier, marriage doesn’t happen right away for many young women. By having “real life skills” and having experience in the business world, gives young women added knowledge, and should life be such, where we as women need to work, as well as possibly having the need arise where we need to support ourselves and our family, we will know how. Anymore, Most women will need to work at some point in her adult life, and it isn’t right not have the skills you need for when you need to work. Being a Stay At Home Daughter is not practical or doing oneself any favors.

Worship Service with my Favorite Christian Band

Hey Everyone!

What a night, and what a week. Last weekend was the Women’s Retreat that I went on, and then this evening was the Rend Collective Concert.

This concert was the second Rend Collective Concert that I have been to. The first one I went to, was when they had come to Portland in 2016. While I had a great time last time as well as this time, this year was a bit different for me. As I have been growing in the Lord, I was really able to enjoy this evening’s concert as a Worship Service with my favorite Christian band, rather than just a concert.

Over the past few years, I have been seeing how God uses and blesses different types of worship. There is a time and a place for the reserved, conservative worship, but there is also nothing wrong with the uninhibited style of worship.

Coming from a place where the worship services and the worship parts of the service were very reserved, controlled and conservative, and understanding that that way of worship wasn’t necessarily a good fit for me, to having gone to my first Rend Collective experience two years ago, and really being opened up to a different style of worship and seeing God work through that left an impression on me. It has been two years between my first Rend Collective concert and the one I went to last night, and I have definitely changed in two years. Being more open and receptive to allowing God to use whatever means necessary to speak to hearts and draw people close to him, I am all for it. Last night, I was trying to think of comparisons to the closest thing I had experienced to a worship service like that, as I have never attended a megachurch that have a praise team, a worship band and all the latest technology, and the closest thing I could relate it too was a Youth Camp chapel service, and even then those still tended to be a bit more reserved than last night.


No Longer Hiding from my Past

Hey Everyone!

This weekend I had gone on a ladies retreat. I hadn’t realized how much I had needed this retreat and fellowship with other Christian ladies.

The topics of the devotions focused on “I AM” passages in the Bible, where the lord used “I Am” statements in his teachings and how we need to be like sheep who stick close to the Shepard.

While I am still fairly new to the church, one of the things the Lord has been dealing with me on, is allowing others to see the real me, and where I have come from in my own journey.

This weekend I was able to be more open with these ladies than I ever have with a lot of people I have known for years.

While I don’t like talking about things I have gone through in the past, and I have recovered from them, they don’t define me. That being said these issues have helped shape who I am today.

I have built a certain level of trust with some of these ladies, so it is a bit easier to open up to them. It has also helped me to not be so afraid to share my testimony.

If I could help one young women either not have to go through some of the things I have been through, or be a listening ear and encouragement while she is going through / or recovering from some of what I have been through, it would all be worth it.