The concept of the whole “Stay At Home Daughter” movement has been something that has been on my heart a lot since I first found about it. It has been on my heart, not in the way of “this is what God has called me to do”, rather, to shed some light on the harmful and negative ramifications of this lifestyle.
Being a wife and a mother, as well as a Christian are scripturally good things, being a stay at home daughter, is not. Choosing to be a stay at home daughter when you are not called to it, or being forced to be one (or forcing your daughters to be SAHD) is the same as saying that your will is more important than God’s will and plan for your / your daughters life. Especially nowadays, a young woman needs to have some job and real world skills to fall back on, even if she is called to be a wife and mother.
Here are some real world examples of why being a stay at home daughter is setting yourself / your daughter up for failure:
- She is not called to get married
- She is called to get married, but not until she is a bit older (I know plenty of young women who are following God’s will for their lives, who are still single well into their 30’s).
- She is called to bring in a second income to help make ends meet, and provide the necessities for the family.
- Because we live in a fallen world, sickness happens, where the husband is taken ill, and eventually passes away, during the time time of illness the wife has to work to support herself and her children, and even while the husband is still alive, in many ways is a single parent. After her husband passes away, she must continue to work, and IS a single parent, and has to finish raising her children on her own.
- Young woman marries guy, guy turns out to not be a man who provides for his family, he takes off leaving her to fend for herself and to take care of their children on her own.
I have seen all of these situations unfold within my own life and in the lives of those around me. I personally still fall into #2.
God has given us each a unique set of talents, skills, interests, and hobbies he has also given each of us a unique calling. Some young women are called to be homemakers, others are not. Some women are given the talent, and desire to learn to cook, bake, crafts, and other “feminine” things, others are called to more of the scientific and mathematic fields. There are others who love to do all the homemaking and crafting things, but also enjoy things like Gardening, raising animals, homesteading, hiking, fishing, chopping wood, and some more “masculine” things by today’s definition of masculine. Though some of these things, if you look at history, women did as well, and it didn’t make them any less of a Christian woman.
I have also heard the argument for the stay at home daughter movement being, along the lines of protecting the girls for the ways of the world. The best thing you can do for yourself, and your daughters (and all your children) if you are a parent, is teach them about what goes on in the world, and how to guard themselves. The bible even talks about being in the world, but not of the world.
I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
– John 17: 14 – 20 (KJV)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with girls learning how to keep a home, these are good qualities to have, and boys should learn some of these skills as well (like how to clean up after themselves, as their mothers, sisters, wives and daughters are NOT their maids).
My main point, is don’t force God into a box of how you think your life should be, and that being a stay at home wife and mother is the only godly call you (or your daughter) is allowed to have to be a good Christian woman. I would advise you to pray about it, and find what things you are good at, because those strengths are gifts from God. While the strengths, talents and skills aren’t the only things he will call of you to use for him, he may very well call you do something in an area you have a weakness so he can show his strength in your weakness, but don’t forget he also gave you the things you are good at.
We as young women are born to be more than just wives and mothers, life happens, and we have to be able to rely on God to provide for our needs. Our lives depend on God, not solely on what men can provide for us. When we learn how to be complete individuals in and of ourselves with God as our center, we can then learn how to be a wife, and support our husbands. God did design marriage to have the husband as the head, but that by no means lessens the Woman’s role. At this point I will refer you to Ephesians 5: 21 – 31, as to what a christian marriage should look like.
With that being said, and going back to what I was talking about earlier, marriage doesn’t happen right away for many young women. By having “real life skills” and having experience in the business world, gives young women added knowledge, and should life be such, where we as women need to work, as well as possibly having the need arise where we need to support ourselves and our family, we will know how. Anymore, Most women will need to work at some point in her adult life, and it isn’t right not have the skills you need for when you need to work. Being a Stay At Home Daughter is not practical or doing oneself any favors.