Many of us who grew up attending church in the 1990’s and early 2000’s were introduced to the book “I kissed dating Goodbye”, and the concept that Christians should not simply be dating, rather courting.
While I don’t believe Courtship is the right route anymore, I also don’t believe in dating just for the fun of it.
The point of dating is should be to determining if said person is someone you could / should marry.
Where, I believe courtship goes awry is the whole parental supervision / chaperone aspect, especially from the beginning of the relationship.
Why do I believe this goes above and beyond what God calls of us, as adults we are done being raised. Many of us have had our values instilled in us from a very young age. So if purity is something one is determined to keep in a relationship, we as adults need to be able to uphold it ourselves. We are all ultimately responsible for our choices and decisions. It’s no longer our parents responsibility to help guide us in the right direction.
In addition to that, we as human beings act differently when it’s just one on one versus having others around (especially parents and siblings). So, in order to start getting to know someone and who they are at their core, the two who are dating do need that “alone” time. This helps to ensure they aren’t just “saying the right things” or what they know their parents expect to to say / believe.
I am not adverse to having mentors, especially when a relationship becomes more involved, and it is determined that they want to be exclusive.
Early on in any relationship, in the “getting to know someone” period, in determining if someone has the same values and morals you do, and if there is any future there for the two of you, should be left to the two of you.
When it comes to Purity, that is a choice you have to make personally. Finding someone who shares the opinion that upholding purity on both sides is super important, it does make it easier. You both will have to set your own boundaries, and do what you need to do to uphold purity on both ends. Everyone is different, every relationship is different, so how those boundaries fall will be a bit different for each couple.