In many Christian Circles, Modesty is only really directed at the ladies, and how it is our fault that men lust after us, if we dane to wear immodest clothing, and even when we do wear modest clothing, they will lust after us. That they can’t help themselves, and it is all our (female’s) fault that men lust after us. This line of thinking has never set well with me, and I am by no means a feminist, nowhere close. I do however believe in personal responsibility. The bible does emphasize modesty for Women.
While girls/women/ladies should be dressing modestly, guys/boys/dudes/men also have the responsibility to learn how to control their lusts and desires. They are not some animals who have no control over what they think about or do.
I saw this video earlier, about christian modesty from the guys perspective. This guy talks about how guys need to take responsibility for their own thoughts, actions and behavior and stop shifting the blame and responsibility to those who it doesn’t belong too, because they don’t want to take responsibility for something they don’t want to control. So they blame women for their lusts, and sinful desires. He does make the point that females do need to dress modestly, as it is biblically right and proper, but it ultimately comes down to personal responsibility on the parts of guys and girls.
Modesty is a choice, and being a female of the millennial generation, I totally believe in modesty, and that it is important for females. That is one of the things that has really been on my heart lately, is the lack of modesty among women these days, and every time I go out in public much many times I see women walking around in clothes that are immodest, I don’t want to be seeing that. I know full well what a woman’s body looks like, without having to see someone else’s while I am at the mall, or at any given store.
Modesty also applies to men, but it is not talked about, much, if ever. At least not where I come from. While guys are more visual creatures than women, girls & women check out guys all the time. When guys walk around in pants that are too tight, or that are so loose are sagging off their rear ends, or aren’t wearing a shirt, or wear a very well fitted shirt, I know without a doubt that the ladies are checking him out, and lusting after him. In our culture male modesty is almost never talked about like it doesn’t exist, and that women take no pleasure in looking at a man, and when he dresses indecently/immodestly that women will and do lust after him.
Modesty goes both ways, and young people, both males and females, need to be taught that they both share in the responsibility of dressing modestly, and learning how to deal with the lustful thoughts that are do not bring any kind of glory to God, and diminishes their self worth and the worth the of person they lust after.
Having grown up in the largest city in the state, as well as one of the larger cities along the West Coast, and having gone to public schools my whole life, I saw a lot. I was also doing my K-12 during the height of when guys of all races were sagging. I remember it still being popular when I was in middle school and into high school (1999 – 2006). There was one time in middle school, one of the guys my age (a white guy no less), was sagging, and going up the stairs ahead of me. I wanted to pants him so bad. The little voice in the back of my head telling me I would get in trouble what the only thing stopping me.
As a society and culture, it’s ok for guys to go shirtless and for girls to be checking him out, but women have to be covered. It is a double standard that isn’t right. While the world would tell you that it is wrong for our society, and for men to sexualize a part of a woman’s body that God created for women to feed their infants while telling guys that it is completely normal to run around shirtless and that to women it is wrong to sexualize men is a double standard that should not exist. I have even seen this double standard exist at church summer camps – girls have to wear one “modest” one piece swimsuits, only at the swimming spot (whether that is at the lake, river, pool or what have you), and have to have some sort of swim cover on going between their cabin and swimming spot, but the guys are allowed to go shirtless between their cabins and the swim spot, as well as playing games (like basketball and tennis), and there is no restrictions on the kind of swim bottoms they can bring.
Modesty needs to start within the home and apply to both genders, and then be reinforced at church and church activities. Don’t tell girls that they have to cover up without expecting and enforcing a similar policy for boys (IE shirt or rash guard while swimming for boys while swimming), and that at church activities, they boys have to be wearing a top as well as bottoms that cover their underwear.
When I was younger, Modesty was one of those things that I heard about and was a bit of buzzkill. Largely in part during the years I really had no say in my wardrobe. As I have gotten older, and have the say in my wardrobe, and have been finding my own style it has become something that the Lord has put on my heart. For girls especially, I know it is hard in this day and age to dress age appropriately and have a style all your own that doesn’t make you look frumpy and older than you need to be, that is also modest. For your own sake, it can be done.