Christian Dating

Hey Everyone!

Many of us who grew up attending church in the 1990’s and early 2000’s were introduced to the book “I kissed dating Goodbye”, and the concept that Christians should not simply be dating, rather courting.

While I don’t believe Courtship is the right route anymore, I also don’t believe in dating just for the fun of it.

The point of dating is should be to determining if said person is someone you could / should marry.

Where, I believe courtship goes awry is the whole parental supervision / chaperone aspect, especially from the beginning of the relationship.

Why do I believe this goes above and beyond what God calls of us, as adults we are done being raised. Many of us have had our values instilled in us from a very young age. So if purity is something one is determined to keep in a relationship, we as adults need to be able to uphold it ourselves. We are all ultimately responsible for our choices and decisions. It’s no longer our parents responsibility to help guide us in the right direction.

In addition to that, we as human beings act differently when it’s just one on one versus having others around (especially parents and siblings). So, in order to start getting to know someone and who they are at their core, the two who are dating do need that “alone” time. This helps to ensure they aren’t just “saying the right things” or what they know their parents expect to to say / believe.

I am not adverse to having mentors, especially when a relationship becomes more involved, and it is determined that they want to be exclusive.

Early on in any relationship, in the “getting to know someone” period, in determining if someone has the same values and morals you do, and if there is any future there for the two of you, should be left to the two of you.

When it comes to Purity, that is a choice you have to make personally. Finding someone who shares the opinion that upholding purity on both sides is super important, it does make it easier. You both will have to set your own boundaries, and do what you need to do to uphold purity on both ends. Everyone is different, every relationship is different, so how those boundaries fall will be a bit different for each couple.

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The Joy and Blessings are in the Trash

Hey Everyone!

While I was at work this morning, I was working on emptying some of the trash and cardboard since we had a big shop set today.

It was in that time, on my own, in the stock room, with the sounds of the trash compactor and baler to keep me company that the Lord reminded me of the time when doing trash duty became the preferred job. I was working at a daycare, and had had enough of dealing with other people’s bratty kids, and whenever I would be pulled to go empty the trash or vacuum or whatever I would be thrilled.

It was in those moments, that God reminded me he is there and blesses those who do the menial, undesirable tasks as well. They have to be done, and if you go about it with a good attitude, the lord will bless.

Called to Work Outside the Home

Hey Everyone!

Only God knows what the future holds. All I know is that during this phase of my life, I am supposed to be working outside of the home.

I was not raised to be a stay at home daughter, nor is it something that God has ever put on my heart.

What God has put on my heart is to work during this phase of my life. As a woman in the 21st century, having worked outside of the home, and knowing how to go about finding a job. Life happens, that could include: getting married later in life, a spouse passing away, or needing the second income.

If, at some point I am able to be a stay at home wife and mother, it would be a blessing, but it’s not the whole purpose of my life. It is also no longer my parents responsibility to provide for me. It is also not my brothers responsibility to provide for me.

The Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to attend and graduate from an accredited university, as well as several jobs and the opportunities I have had to travel, including the trip to New York I took on my own.

Because I have had the experiences I have had, attending college, working, traveling, I can better relate to my future husband and the experiences he has had. I can relate to being exhausted after a long day/week/month at work. It will allow me to be more understanding, and sympathetic, yet know when enough is enough and how to suck it up and deal with it since life is no fairy tale and my future husband (if he exists) is no Prince Charming riding in on a white horse to rescue me or complete me.

I have had my own apartments, and I had to keep it up myself, doing the cooking and the cleaning myself while maintaining a full school schedule. Where I am at now, I have responsibilities and contribute where I can while working however many hours a week I work.

When and if I have a family of my own, what’s best for the family will come first, whether that is for me to stay home or if that is for me to work, that is a decision my husband and I will have to seek God’s counsel on. Until then, I am working when and where I can, in order to gain much needed experience and to live the life God has planned for me.

Marriage Does Not Complete Us

Hey Everyone!

The idea/concept/pressure that we as women are fed, and urged to believe that we are somehow incomplete, less than, sub par, or not a whole person until we get married has been something I have dealt with myself.

I know for a fact that I, as a woman am a whole and complete person with or without a man in my life.

God doesn’t make mistakes, and he doesn’t make half the population incomplete until they walk down that aisle and say “I do”, and then all of a sudden be made whole because they are hitched.

Some of us are called to be married, others aren’t. Some of those who are called to be married, get married at a later age than others. That doesn’t make me, or any other single lady incomplete or any less of a whole person than a young woman who gets married in her early twenties.

Earlier today, I had come across an Instagram post and later YouTube video, by Emily Wilson, touching on this topic. It reinforced what I already know to be true.

The idea/concept/construct that marriage completes us, and that we need to actively be pursuing a relationship with a man in order to be complete is one of the biggest lies Satan uses to chip away at us and get our focus off of God.

Marriage isn’t for everyone, and some get married later in life.

When we realize that it will happen in God’s time, and that God is what makes us complete all on our own; we can work on focusing on what God wants us to be doing during our single years. They are not wasted years. I know it’s hard, trust me, I do. It doesn’t help that we have friends, family, media and strangers trying to force it down our throats that in being married we have gained a half that was missing or a better half, or that somehow our worth as a human being and a woman is diminished while we are single is just a crap pile of lies.

Called to be Single in my 20’s.

Hey Everyone!

As I draw closer to God and reflect back on my twenties, since I left that decade of my life about seven months ago, I have come to realize and see that for me, I spent my twenties being single so I could grow, come back to God and learn about who I am as a woman of God.

I started my twenties in the middle of my sophomore year of college, majoring in Early Childhood / Elementary Education. A couple short months later I changed my major to Social Science and minored in Literature. It was while I was in college, that the adventurous side of me started to come out. I was exploring the world around me.

A little over a year after I had finished college, I took off and went to New York on my own. I was 23, and had gone out to be a nanny. Things didn’t end up that well, and it was not a good fit, so I was sent home after only a week. Due to weather issues in my first layover city going home, I couldn’t get out of New York until the next morning, so I had spent the night alone, at La Guardia. It Eerie, Creepy and I did not sleep at all that night. At this point in my life I had turned my back on God years before. That didn’t matter that night, I had prayed a few earnest prayers that night and the Lord kept me safe.

It was another three years after that trip before I gave my life to God.

The summer I gave my heart to God, I was 26. It was nothing spectacular to witness. I was alone, at home, and it was the middle of the night.

The years in between going to New York, and getting saved, my best friend and I did a fair amount of hiking, and outdoorsy stuff.

After I gave my heart to the Lord and he saved my soul, I was still loved being outdoors, and have always felt more at home away from the big city than in it.

I know that I spent my twenties without being in a serious relationship, because I needed to get my life right with God, and to become the Woman he created me to be. If I had been in a committed relationship, I would not have been able to do what I was able to do in my twenties, and I don’t know how much further I would have strayed from God.

Serving in our own Communities

Hey Everyone!

Over the past four years or so, the Lord has really been putting it on my heart to find ways to serve others in need here in my home country. Despite the fact that the U.S. has been one of the countries with a good standard of living, where most places have clean water, and access to many amenities that we take for granted, there are areas right here in our own country that don’t have what many of us take for granted, like clean drinking water, running water, electricity (and I’m not talking about those who choose to live off grid in more remote places, I am talking about people who genuinely don’t have access to these basic things). There are areas of our country were people are living in extreme poverty, and for the most part they are being overlooked and ignored just because we are all in the US.

I don’t want to fault people who are genuinely called to go on missions trips and be longterm missionaries in Micronesia, Polynesia, Melanesia, as well as in Africa, Central, and South America. When you are called to do something, you need to go do it.

At the same time, We, as a body of believers should also be ministering to those here at home as well. There are areas of our country where people have never heard the Gospel at all, and areas where it seems like people have forgotten about or are too afraid to go. It is hard to fathom that there are children who live in homes where there is not enough money for food, whose last meal for the week is their lunch at school on Friday, and they don’t eat again until Monday when they go back to school.

Helping the vulnerable and those who are in truly in need of a helping hand here at home, and in our own communities are those I know that I am being called to help and minister to. We don’t need to be called to be a missionary to Africa or Asia to be of use to God, a willing heart and trusting God is what we need.

This is part of why I choose to live a simpler life so that I am able to do what I can where I can to help those in need, especially children and the elderly who need more help.

Ministry Burdens

Hey Everyone!

There is so much on my heart tonight, and I have no idea if I will be able to totally convey to you all what is on my heart accurately.

I really feel like the Lord has stopped me in my tracks and opened my eyes to changes that need to be made / opportunities that are not being acted upon and that there is a part for me to play in helping those changes happen. There are so many outreach and ministry opportunities that aren’t fully acted upon in a sustainable manner.

The where, what, why and how is up to God.